


Truths Better Left Unspoken

by Myrime



Category: Iron Man (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel
Genre: Angst, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Family, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Tony Stark, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Misery, Snippet, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 16:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20230846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myrime/pseuds/Myrime
Summary: "I wish I'd never met you."Tony loves his mother, he really does. In this moment, however, he also hates her with all the might his five-year-old heart can manage. He has no doubt that she is speaking the truth, but from the way Howard’s fingers dig so much harder into his shoulders now, Tony knows it will not be her who will regret her words the most.





	Truths Better Left Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Another entry for the [Iron Man Bingo 2019 Round 2](https://iron-man-bingo.tumblr.com/), square: "I wish I'd never met you."

The gala has lasted forever. Five minutes into the event, the names and faces of the other guests have blurred into each other. Tony is not even sure what it was for. Everybody was dressed to the nines, talking about business and money and the future, but it all went over Tony’s head.

He had wanted to spend the night at home, where he had begun sketching a brilliant idea when Jarvis had come in to help him get ready. Nobody ever asks him what he wants to do. Perhaps if his ideas were something useful for Howard or the company – but he is not allowed in the workshop, or even to look at the blueprints Howard spends his time on.

All out of alternatives, Tony has done as he was taught. He kept his back straight, his smile polite, and his mouth shut. He did not complain when his feet started hurting from standing around too long, or when his stomach began cramping because the buffet was only for grown-ups. He has not interrupted his father’s conversation when he needed to pee but waited until the heavy hand on his shoulder lifted for a few moments to slip away, although the grip became much harder afterwards.

As far as Tony is aware, he has done good. He has not embarrassed Howard, has not corrected any of the other guests when they were talking nonsense, and always nodded politely, always agreed with Howard even when he was obviously lying.

He has done good, and yet the tension between his parents is unbearable on their way home. Howard is still holding onto Tony as if he is going to jump out of the driving car. Why would he? The dreadful party is already over.

The entrance door to the mansion is barely closed behind them, when Maria turns around, eyes alit with fury, and hisses, “Our son is five. You shouldn’t parade him around in front of those sharks. He’s –”

Instinctively, Tony wants to take a step back – he hates arguments, hates the way they always seem to spiral out of control – but Howard’s hand stops him from moving. All he can do is watch things unfold, despite his bed waiting for him two floors up.

“You’re turning him into a prissy,” Howard barks back. It sounds like they are just continuing an argument instead of starting a new one. Tony feels like he has missed the beginning of it. “He’s going to inherit Stark Industries one day. He needs to be prepared if he’s not to mess everything up.” Tony does not need to look up to know Howard’s demeanour is changing. He always seems to become even harder when he is disgusted by something. “Of course you wouldn’t care about that as long as my money allows you to live comfortably.”

While keeping his mouth carefully shut, Tony does not think that his mother’s life is very comfortable. They have the big house, yes, but it seems to be always cold in there. Everyone is constantly watching their steps, and he has heard Maria cry, the sound echoing through the halls. If he were not so sure that she does not have an answer, he might have even asked her why. In this house, though, Howard is the only one with answers that count.

“Anthony is a child,” Maria says coldly, making Tony wish they would not argue over him. That is not going to make anything better. _He_ is not going to become better.

“He’s a Stark,” Howard counters, using his favourite argument. “It’s time he started acting like it.”

The thing is, Tony does not know how. He knows the rules and adheres to them as best as he can, but he is always doing something wrong. Howard always finds his flaws, he does not even have to look very hard.

“He’s not some tool for you to use and discard as you like,” Maria spats. She is getting visibly more upset, and Tony wishes he could tell her that is only going to make things worse.

She knows that, of course. She has been living with Howard for longer than he has, after all. If she has not managed to get along with him in all this time, it is perhaps impossible for Tony to get there either.

“That’s exactly what he is,” Howard answers. His tone is vicious, and his fingers dig deep enough into Tony’s shoulder that he knows there will be marks later. “Just like you are. And we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had done a better job.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, both trembling with fury. Tony wishes he could run, could hide away inside his room and curl up, make himself so small that all their anger would just fly past him. Perhaps he could hide in the kitchen under the table. From there, the only thing he can see are Jarvis’ legs as he prepares the meals. Safety is only an illusion, Tony is aware of that, but he craves for it nonetheless.

“I wish I’d never met you.”

Tony loves his mother, he really does. When she is at home, resting from her extensive travels all over the world, they usually spend some hours together, telling stories, playing the piano, even laughing. Time spent with her is always nice.

In this moment, however, Tony also hates her, with all the might of his five-year-old heart. He has no doubt that she is speaking the truth, but from the way Howard’s fingers dig so much harder into his shoulders now, Tony knows it will not be her who will regret her words the most. 

He sometimes wonders how his mother can be at fault for Tony’s failings, when is also at fault for hers.

Maria turns around and takes measured steps towards the stairs. Tony doubts he will see her for days on end, since she often locks herself into her rooms the way he sometimes wants to.

They watch her go, and this time Tony would not have moved even if Howard would have let him. Choosing her this openly could only make things worse.

“Anthony,” Howard says as soon as Maria has put her foot on the first step, “in my office.”

“Yes, sir,” Tony answers automatically, but his feet are rooted in place.

He could run. Howard is already drunk, courtesy of the open bar at the gala, and Tony is fast and small enough to outrun him. There is nowhere to run _to_, though. All he knows is in the mansion. The workshop, and Jarvis, and the garden, and the kitchen, and Ana. He might hate a lot of things here, but there is also so much to love. Other places might not even have that, even if he knew how to get there.

When he raises his head to follow Howard to his office, his mother’s eyes are on him. For a long moment, they simply look at each other. Maria appears hesitant, biting her lips in a way a lady should not as if she wants to say something more. Silently, Tony implores her not to. Her cheeks are red as if she has been hit. She opens her mouth, then thinks better of it.

Leaving Tony at Howard’s mercy, she turns back around and climbs the rest of the stairs. Distantly, Tony notices that she does not run either. She just walks back to her room with slow steps belying the tension in her straight spine, ready to hide until the next time things escalate.

Experience tells Tony that will not be long. Even as Tony’s feet carry him towards Howard’s office, he thinks Maria is right. It would have been better for all of them if Maria and Howard had never met. They did, though, and therefore that is a fact that should never be mentioned out loud.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
